Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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