I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize