Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
