okay pat passed out under dana's car
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
