I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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