Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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