And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
