do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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