FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
