so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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