I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
