I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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