do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
