so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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