Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
