I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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