i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
