It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
