my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dicks are not precious.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
