failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
