Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
