is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize