New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
