umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
