the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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