i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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