I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
