Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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