I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
