Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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