You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
