gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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