That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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