Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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