my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
