Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize