Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
