Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
