oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
That's how pantless uber rides happen
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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