i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
This is not my ceiling
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I will pee on everything he values.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
