So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize