Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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