Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
