I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Too much gin, very little bucket
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
