yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
