I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
