i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
it glows. i had to have it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
