Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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