i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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