note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
