she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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