I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
