wat bout pragnant strippers??
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I want a musical about memes.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
