I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize