I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
