Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
