doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
