erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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