Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Randomize
