I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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