I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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