Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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