i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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