She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
